Sometimes resentment towards parents can haunt a person for the whole life. Together with Psytalk psychologist, we'll find out how to stop reproaching your parents and improve your emotional state.
The impact of resentment on your life:
Energy depletion
When you constantly revisit painful memories, it drains you of energy and attention that could be directed to current affairs and development.
Reflections on relationships with others
Neglected care and support in childhood can lead to high expectations of partners or friends. These unrealized expectations increase resentment and negatively affect relationships.
Internal conflict
If you feel it is unacceptable to be angry with your parents, it can lead to repressed emotions. Repressed resentment does not go away, but only grows stronger over time, causing internal discomfort.
The adult position vs. the child position
As a child, a child is totally dependent on his parents and takes their words as truth. An adult must realize that it is impossible to change parents or correct the past. It is important to learn to take care of oneself in the present, taking responsibility for one's emotional state.
Parental alienation and inner anger
Stopping communication with your parents does not always get rid of resentment. Even if you have decided to distance yourself or your parents are no longer alive, inner anger can continue to affect you. It is important to do some inner work to deal with these emotions.
Self-work with resentment
Write a letter of resentment
Take a few sheets of paper and take 15 minutes to write a letter in which you pour out all your resentment and anger. This exercise helps you put your emotions on paper and see the situation from a new perspective. Repeat the exercise for five days to see if it works for you.
Identify the parental traits in yourself
Divide the sheet of paper into two columns: in one column, list the negative qualities of your parents and in the other column, list the positive qualities. This will help you see a more complete image of your parents and realize that you, too, may have the traits you criticize in them.
Seeing parents as normal people
Try to see your parents as ordinary people who may have been inexperienced or psychologically immature. Understanding their human qualities will help you accept them for who they are and decide how to interact with them in the future.
Talking about the past
If you decide to discuss past hurts with your parents, think about the purpose of the conversation. Understanding their point of view may help you to better accept the situation and mend the relationship. However, accusations and complaints are unlikely to resolve the conflict.
Forgiveness is a choice
You are entitled to whatever feelings you have for your parents. Accepting them does not necessarily mean forgiving them. Dealing with resentment takes time. You should not force yourself to forgive your parents under societal pressure. It is important to give yourself time and space for this process.
Psytalk Professional Help
If you are having difficulty dealing with resentment on your own, working with a Psytalk counselor can be an important step toward healing. Professional support can help you gain a deeper understanding of your feelings and find effective ways to overcome resentment.
